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Comment by Network Creator on July 28, 2009 at 3:01pm

Tan is nice. But not always

Comment by Zulu on July 28, 2009 at 2:43pm

Comment by Zulu on May 20, 2009 at 4:06pm

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a hilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Comment by Zulu on May 20, 2009 at 4:00pm

Tomato Patch Bodies An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over because you would be happy to dig the plot for me. Love, Dad A few days later he received a letter from his son... Dear Dad, Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie

Comment by Zulu on May 20, 2009 at 3:54pm

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. Thedoctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?""274," was his reply.The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What isthree times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man.The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What'sthree times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How didyou get that?""Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."

Comment by Zulu on May 6, 2009 at 1:11am

Crazy Talking Cats

Comment by Network Creator on May 1, 2009 at 1:37pm

this is really sad but still funny

Comment by Network Creator on May 1, 2009 at 1:30pm

Comment by Zulu on April 29, 2009 at 7:55pm

The Morning After lol...

Comment by Zulu on April 29, 2009 at 7:51pm

> An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm > count as part of his physical exam.
>
> The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar
> home and bring
> back a semen sample tomorrow.'
>
> The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the
> doctor's office and
> gave him the jar,
> which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
>
> The doctor asked what happened and the man explained,
> 'Well, doc, it's
> like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
> Then I tried
> with my left hand, but still nothing.
>
> 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her
> right hand, then with
> her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first
> with the teeth
> in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.
>
> 'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she
> tried too, first
> with both hands, then an
> armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
> her knees, but still nothing.'
>
> The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'
>
> The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar
> open.'

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